In a life I lived many moons ago, I was productive. I made lists and got stuff done. Always. Nothing stood in my way.
After Piper was born, I loved her more than I thought a heart was capable of loving, and I also was so. very. tired. Infants are incredibly demanding. Thus began the days of Never Getting Anything Done Anymore.
My husband and I decided to wait until Piper was in Pre-K, when childcare would be free and she would be more self-sufficient, to start the adoption process again (now!). God had another idea, and Caroline was born shortly after Piper turned two. Then, I discovered the true meanings of "busy" and "distracted". When people say that the adjustment of going from one child to two is far greater than the adjustment of going from no children to one, they aren't lying. There is never a single moment during "life with littles" (except sometimes in the middle of the night, and even that isn't guaranteed) when someone doesn't need something.
Having kids is challenging in the best way possible. Sometimes I long for a morning to sleep in past 6:00, a date with my husband, the privilege of crossing just one completed item out of my planner, something tangible to show for the work that I do as their mom, or, my goodness, a single quiet moment(!), but I don't ever wish for my old life back. My children force me to be less selfish, better with my time, more patient, and less tight-fisted with my money. At the end of my life, I know I won't look back and say, "I spent too much time paying attention to them."
One of the biggest lessons that my girls have taught me in the last four years is that children are not interruptions but opportunities. I can choose to see them as plan-destroyers and remain in a constant state of annoyance when they sabotage my schedule, which happens about every three minutes. Or, I can choose to see them as future productive citizens, friends, moms, wives, and disciples. I get the primary privilege of raising them to be such. Which item on my day's agenda could be more pressing than that?
Today, I got basically nothing done on my "to-do list." But hey, my kids ate three solid meals, the house hasn't been burned down or flooded with tears, everyone is still alive, and we are all (hopefully) a little more kind and a little less narcissistic than we were yesterday. I'm redefining "productivity," and I guess that makes today a pretty productive day.