I knew this would happen.
I knew I'd drop my kids off at VBS at our old church every morning last week and miss that place. I missed it bad. My husband and closest friends could read it all over my face.
Two years ago, we became members at a different church, the church that we still attend. Our decision was primarily fueled by the desire to stop commuting half an hour each way every week and to become part of a church body in our home community. This change was challenging because I loved City Pres. Had we left because we had been hurt or upset, the transition would have been easier, or at least more clear-cut.
When we first started coming to Providence Road, I was encouraged to hear the gospel preached so emphatically and to be welcomed immediately by kind people who genuinely love Jesus. But I missed so many other things about our old church that I struggled to worship in our new one, and still do at times. I miss the hymns, the responsive readings, the paper order of worship that I could hold in my hands, the communion wine and the kneelers off to the side. I miss the austere reverence that filled the building and the beauty of the building itself with that big red door, the stained glass, and the wooden arches. I miss the size of the body and the variety of ages found in it. I miss those sweet people, many who we've known for twelve years, many who walked with us through the most difficult season of our life together and watched as we renewed our vows in that 100-year-old sanctuary.
What I have had to realize is that most of the things I miss about City Pres are truly preferences and not convictions. We are convicted that we need to be in a church in Norman where the gospel is proclaimed boldly and shown to be essential in the lives of the church members and leaders. That's it. When Christ stands at the head of a church, all of the minor issues can go. There is value in finding a place and remaining committed to it, even when more comfortable places exist. If everyone quit things as soon as they became uncomfortable, no one would ever have children, finish school, runs marathons, or remain married.
This is not to say that I've had any easy time dying to my preferences in honor of my convictions. But, He does help my heart. Two years later, I can honestly say that although I still miss City Pres, I love Providence Road! As I've slowly loosened my hold on what I want, He has shown me how the gospel can break down all sorts of barriers to give what is needed, namely God himself. I can love and serve at this church because it is His church and my preferences are secondary to His kingdom.